Compromising Positions

A sex ed blog with more

Vulnerability

There is inherent strength in vulnerability. When you choose to share your stories, you control the messaging and the narrative. You let people know how to treat you based on how you share, and you let others know that they are not alone. This last piece is important: you are NOT alone. Humans crave connection; vulnerability aids that connection. And if you’re someone who needs legit scholarly articles to believe this kind of stuff, check out Jackson et al’s “Recognising strength and resilience in the context of risk and susceptibility”.

The human experience is broken down into stories. We all have many; a lifetime is made up of individual stories. Sometimes there is an arc, perhaps a chapter or a novel; we can see themes, climaxes, and denouements. Spoiler alert: no one really has their shit together – we are all works in progress and glorious works of art.

I have had a really hard year, and I genuinely thought I was doing okay (despite regular jokes of #lowbar standards i.e. it’s a very low bar to surpass at this point) until I learned of the death of a friend last week. It was as though the final piece of my heart broke off, and the whole thing shattered. So now I need to focus on healing my heart and feeding my soul, and I would appreciate being invited to different events/spaces/activities that make others feel good.

Last night was a fantastic step to my healing. I attended an incredible first annual event hosted by Blake Fleischacker in Toronto, sponsored by the Supernacular Series, all about gratitude and courage. The most powerful portion of the evening, by far, was when some of us shared thank you notes we had written to ourselves. This is an exercise I HIGHLY recommend, and will definitely do for myself regularly. It is very easy to be hard on ourselves, to be negative, to focus on the bad or the areas in which we want to improve. We are not so great at appreciating all that we do and are for ourselves.

Moreover, I have found that my negativity diminishes when I focus on gratitude. Love trumps hate and fear. What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. On that note, here is what I wrote to myself, and then read in front of a group of 30 relative strangers with beautiful souls:

Jules,

Proud of you for standing up for yourself and feeding your soul. [insert shaking hands]

Thank you for your emotional labour, your fight song, your vulnerability, and your energy. Thank you for all the love you put into the world. Remember to find joy each day, and follow your heart song. [insert tears, a pause, and a power twirl]

Thank you for not putting up with shit; for kicking ass and taking names.

Thank you for telling people you’ve had a really hard year, for reaching out, and for taking the time to find your tribe.

You got this.

Love, Julia

PS You’re beautiful

 

 

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