A sex ed blog with more
The other day I was debating getting waxed and decided it’s expensive and I’m a wuss. I didn’t want to go through with it, and shaving got me thinking about how frustrating hair removal and the inevitable subsequent regrowth are. I started writing this to complain, ask for suggestions, and maybe provide some info or insight into the ridiculousness of the incessant grooming rituals of the Western World. We do all kinds of things to our bodies: plucking, threading, waxing, shaving, laser treatment, bleaching, and so much more. I had to ask myself: Why?
Am I doing it for my partner, who is super stoked to see me and have sex with me? Or because I’ve been barraged by images and ads from the beauty and porn industries about what’s desirable? Or maybe because I feel better about myself when there is less hair on my body? Maybe it’s all three. I can’t help but wonder why I like hair on men but not so much on myself. Quite frankly, I think the double standard for hairy bodies is ridiculous, yet I find what I say to be somewhat contradictory, and I’m really not sure how to reconcile it. Women are told that visible hair anywhere but our heads is unacceptable, while men can be as hairy as they wish. I’m not saying there is absolutely no pressure on gents to look a certain way, simply less pressure than that on women.
Hair removal is an expensive and time-consuming affair … and it grows back so freakin fast! I have a very hairy female friend who finally got fed up and decided to let it grow. Ironically, she keeps the hair on her head relatively short, though I imagine this is because it’s easier to maintain. She likes to say that she is catering to a certain demographic of men who find hair attractive. And as discussed before, if you can think of something, someone is into it. My friend is a beautiful, confident, hairy woman, and after a while, it’s easy to forget that she is visibly hairy. Her boyfriend certainly loves how she looks. And hell, she doesn’t have to worry about how fast the hair grows back, uncomfortable ingrown hairs, chafing or razor burn. She spends far less money on beauty products than most of us, and quite frankly, I would love to be comfortable enough with my hair to let it all grow. Alas, I am stuck with figuring out what my hair and body responds best to, and when/how I feel most confident.
I find it’s a royal pain to groom the nethers. I don’t think it’s ever relaxing or enjoyable, and yet there are so many options. Even waxing, you need to know what you want when you walk in. It’s best to start with bikini and work up to the sensation of being hairless. You need to prep your vagina for the kind of pain that may come.
Really, it’s all about personal preference and what you’re comfortable with. If someone really likes you, that means all of you. Confidence is sexy, and a healthy relationship involves wanting all parties to be happy and comfortable. That may mean pleasing yourself, pleasing your partner(s), or both. Essentially though, if you’re being force or pressured to groom, that’s not healthy. So do what feels right, and what you’re okay with.