A sex ed blog with more
I would like to dispel the incredibly negative stigma surrounding fetishes. Growing up, most of us are taught that anything out of the ordinary is naughty, dirty, bad, and/or wrong; that liking something different makes us weird. I know this is what I learned. Everyone is into something; some of us are into lots of things. Think of anything and someone is probably into it. So, to begin, let’s go through some definitions of ‘fetish’ from different sources.
Fetish, Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary:
an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit.
• a course of action to which one has an excessive and irrational commitment : he had a fetish for writing more opinions each year than any other justice.
• a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc. : Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots.
Sexual fetishism, Wikipedia:
… the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish; the person who has a fetish for that object/situation is a fetishist. A sexual fetish may be regarded as an enhancing element to a romantic/sexual relationship “achieved in ordinary ways (e.g. having the partner wear a particular garment)” or as a mental disorder/disorder of sexual preference if it causes significant psychosocial distress for the person or has detrimental effects on important areas of their life. Arousal from a particular body part is classified as partialism.
Basically, my understanding is that if you have a particular fetish, you need a certain thing or things to get off. That could be anything from a frog, to high heels, to hand cuffs, to boobs. Thanks to the internet, people are able to explore, educate, and find communities of like-minded individuals. I have recently learned of some fetishes that I find particularly fascinating:
• Female pleasure fetish: the female partner’s sole focus is making his/her female orgasm, with no concern of/for reciprocation. Partners often feel incredibly proud and powerful being the cause for such pleasure, especially if the woman is capable and wanting multiple orgasms.
• Sploshing: erotic food love, or the extreme use of food items in sex play. Many start with cake sitting, and can include any form of food. Sploshing is part of a larger category known as WAM
• WAM: wet and messy! This includes 3 sub-groups: water, sploshing, and Mudlarkers = mud, clay, quicksand. WAMers often enjoy seeing clothing dirtied in some form, and then removed so there is skin-to-substance contact. Part of the allure is the taboo of sullying clothing, while another is the creation of a hilarious spectacle.
• Klismaphilia: pleasure derived from enemas aka anal masturbation, sometimes using coffee. Many times, hetero couples involve the female as the receiver while the male administers.
• Emetophilia: vomiting, or watching someone vomit; known as a Roman shower. Often involves or is due to powerful emotional associations.
• Teratophilia: attraction to “deformed or monstrous” people, often missing one or more limbs. Many will say they find deformities sexy, including scars and burns, which is known as dysmorphophilia. Most accounts are from women, which could further the idea that women are less concerned with visuals even though it is very much a visual, physical, sexual attraction. There is a serious lack of research on the matter.
• Diaper lover: the physical sensation of wearing a diaper brings the wearer gratification. Some will use it for defecation or urination, while others are not at all interested in that particular sensation. Diaper sex and humiliation are not necessarily part of wearing one, but can be. Some diaper lovers wear diapers 24/7, while others use them only for scenes. Role play is often used as Mommy or Daddy taking care of a baby.
• Octopus/tentacle rape: this is typical in Japan and mostly seen in porn and anime. It involves humiliation, and its widespread use/showing was started due to the law in Japan that forbids penises onscreen (though the concept was originally started in the 18th century). It literally involves a woman being penetrated by tentacles.
• Eproctophilia: attraction to flatulence. This typically involves hetero females farting for hetero males. Various foods and drinks will aid in this. A milder form of scat (poop) play, fart fetishes often involve sitting directly on the face. It is unclear as to whether the sound or smell is the main allure. If you’re into this, be careful of the potential for pink eye, or other scat-related infections.
• Furries: dressing up in animal costumes and behaving as that animal (This is when the person looks like a mascot in a full costume. Not when a person is just wearing ears and lingerie aka slutty Halloween bunny). Often “yiffing” occurs, when 2 or more furries engage in dry humping while fully costumed. Sometimes intercourse or full-on sex will occur with certain body parts exposed.
Sex is amazing and this is just a tiny morsel of what some people are into. It is something that can connect us, and relates us to one another. Finding people who share our passions and interests is incredibly liberating. You’re never going to know what you’re into if you don’t try new things safely. So go explore!