A sex ed blog with more
We all know and have heard that long distance sucks, yet many of us subject ourselves to the hardship, trails and tribulations. Having been in 3 serious relationships that started out long distance, I have learned a few important lessons and tricks.
1) The honeymoon phase lasts ~ 6 months. Everything is new and exciting; there’s all kinds of daydreaming, planning for the next visit, and thanks to technology, texting the mundane details of everyday life to the only kind of person actually interested: one who is smitten.
2) Texting mundane details (aka all day, every day) needs to stop when you’re in the same city: you’re going to see each other often (in theory), so save all of the interesting talk for then. Otherwise, you’re likely to run out of things to talk about.
3) Long distance will only work if there is an end in sight, and that may mean changing plans of “compromising.” In my experience, these kinds of changes are worthwhile and exciting. Heck, I chose to travel for 6 months instead of a year, and I’ll let you know this time next year if it was worth it. I’m betting it will be.
4) Long distance dates can be tricky. Here are a couple I’m fond of:
Moral of the story: use all of the technology at your disposal.
5) Sending photos back and forth allows for a sense of closeness, like the person is there with you. Chances are, if you’re in a committed, monogamous relationship, sending one picture each day will make the receiver feel incredibly special, and let them know the sender is thinking of them.
6) Skype, or some other video chat: particularly when one has had a bad day and needs support, face to face interaction is key. Free face to face is even better. Even if it’s just a few minutes, a few times/week. For me, being able to see my partner’s face while we’re busy or working is such a comfort and relief. We occasionally don’t use sound so that we can get stuff done. It’s good prep for when we’re around each other all the time: we don’t always need to speak. Making time for each other is vital to making your long distance relationship work.
7) Compromise. Long distance is a relationship. Just like a non-long distance relationship, making decisions with our partners in mind is necessary for a healthy relationship to last. This does not mean we need to compromise our values or goals, simply that we all need to be aware of how our choices affect our partners.
If you are currently in or considering a long distance relationship, take heed. Go for it, but know that it’s a bumpy ride, and some of these tricks may help you out.